Love Thy Neighbor

For some crazy reason, my neighbor think it's okay to call me fat to my face. See, the thing is too, I'm post-baby chubby, yes, but I don't think I'm "fat". Maybe I'm in denial. Yeah, I am, so what? I'm a good 20 pounds away from my average weight. I gain a lot of weight when I birth my big boys (9 lbs for my first, almost 10 for my second). With my first, I gained, SIXTY pounds while pregnant. I lost 55 lbs of that after I had him, but it took me almost two years. Yes, a long time. My post-pregnancy hormones make it really hard for the weight to come off. I try like hell, and it does come off, but s-l-o-w-l-y. With my second boy, I gained 48 pounds and I have lost 30, with about 20 more needed. I had my baby 9 months ago and I'm only losing a couple pounds a month, ugh. Anyhow, I know I'm chubby and I am trying like hell to change that. I don't know why my neighbor, who is overweight herself, thinks it's okay to call me out on this, but she does. And I've had it. The first two weight encounters I had with her, I had while pregnant. I excused the rudeness, because a lot of people think a woman's weight is open season when she's with child. I don't understand it, and it still hurts, but some people think because they're are two (or more) of you in that body, it must sting less. I got comments while preggo with my second about being "big", was I "sure I wasn't carrying twins?" and "wow, you're really ready to POP! (when I was about 2 months away, actually). I thought it wasn't polite, but I didn't expect the fat jokes to return, post-pregnancy.



This afternoon, I was out in the beautiful Autumn sun with my two boys, in the front yard. We have an incredibly beautiful maple tree in the front that drops leaves of crimson and gold this time of year. I grabbed two big pumpkins and set up an inpromtu photo shoot. As I was out there, my old-world Italian neighbor,who is her in 80's, with a heavy Italian accent walked over to give my boys some Halloween candy (including a gigantic bag of Baby Ruth for my NINE MONTH OLD). Anyhow, I thanked her up and down for her kindness, exchanged some pleasantries and when back to my camera. My neighbor, let's call her, Gina, decided that there was no longer a need for social formalities, she was going for my heart. "Lisa, you look fat. Chubby. You look so chubby". Pan to me with my jaw on the floor, stunned. "Your face used to be so skinny, not-so-much now." Um, thanks Gina. I'm actually still fat from my having my baby. Thank you for pointing this out. "You must sleep a lot, Lisa. You get chubby when you sleep a lot, like me." "Um, no Gina, I get about 4 hours of sleep a night and don't sit down for more than 5 minutes all day, except for dinner. I'm fat from my pregnancy, not activity level. Thanks, have a good night." I wish I had put her in her place more, but I was so stunned, I didn't know what to do. I definitely didn't think that a nice family afternoon in the yard would turn into an attack on my appearance. Why does she think this is okay? I actually have great relationship with all of my other neighbors, too! Listen, I wasn't stunned by the content of what she said. I know I'm chubby and I wish the weight was coming off faster. I'm still breastfeeding and this weight is coming off like molasses, but I'm getting there, damn! I wasn't stunned like I would be if my mom called me up and told me I was adopted, I see myself everyday. I just didn't think a neighbor would feel a need to remind me. Thank, Gina, eat poop. Yep, my come-backs are no better than my son's.